Dad

I think two Friday nights ago, one question stood out to me: What is your relational experience with your parents? Does this effect your perception of God's love and grace towards you?

My first instinct was to say that my relationship with my parents are good. It's definitely good with my mom. I've pretty much lived with her all my life, which helped get closer with my mom as I got older. And then I thought about my relationship with my dad, and I thought, "I don't really have much of a relationship with him since he's lived in Korea ever since I was four." Of course I've communicated with him throughout my life and spent a lot of time with him in Korea over a summer, but it's still hard to say that "I have a solid relationship with my dad" because I really don't.

Throughout high school and my freshmen year of college, I grew really bitter towards him. I wondered why he was still in Korea and not with my mom. I didn't understand why he chose to go to Korea to run a business away from his family in the first place. He didn't get to see any of us grow up. I hated him for causing my mom loneliness.

Just recently (during my sophomore year of college), I learned that my dad really went through a lot. Even when I saw him in Korea, I noticed that he had a lot more white hair, and looked a lot older. Spending such a long time alone away from his family caused a lot of anxiety, and caused his body to age faster I guess. I'm sure he went through A LOT of hardships. This is what I call sacrificial love. Obviously it wasn't perfectly demonstrated like God did, but my dad went through a hell of a lot to try to support my family.

So how does this effect my perception of God's love and grace towards me? Well, my dad was physically "invisible" in my life. It seemed like he was never around. But my dad, even without my knowing it, was working his butt off to send money over to America so I can have clothes to wear, food to eat, and a place to live in. Although I can't "see" God, He is constantly working in me through his Spirit when I don't even know it. His grace is all around me without my knowing, and He provides me with all things. I get bitter towards God constantly because I feel like He's not present in my life. I get angry if it seems like God isn't providing for me or tending to my desires. Most importantly, while my dad imperfectly, sacrificially loved me, God demonstrated the perfect sacrificial love by giving up His one and only Son, the Perfect Sacrifice.

Unexpectedly, God revealed more about His character to me through my dad. I will continue on my journey in getting to know more about God everyday.

So what am I thankful for on this Thanksgiving evening (technically it already passed)? I'm thankful for my dad, but most importantly, for God and His Sacrificial Love!

-Simon