In one sense... I feel pathetic. Of the 21 years of my life, I feel like I haven't really accomplished much in my life. I would give examples, but they're kind of personal and apparently I have a few readers out there haha (which I am still very surprised about). But as I look back, I feel like I'm not very proud of anything. Up to now, I have lived such a mediocre, lukewarm life that it saddens me. I'm always aiming for "contentment" and never really going for "above and beyond". I think it could either be that I'm lazy, or that I'm such a realist/pessimist--that whatever I try to set my goal to that sounds so crazy, that I feel like it's just impossible and I'll never be able to obtain it. I'm such a fool.
But in another sense... I feel so lucky. God has blessed me with 21 years of my life. Wow. I am so lucky to be a Christian. I am so lucky to have a loving family. I am so lucky to have friends who care for me (right?). I am so lucky that I have CPC as my church. I am so lucky to have my small group boys. The list goes on.
Although the first paragraph of this entry was a downer, it looks SO tiny next to the Cross. Like seriously, how can I be disappointed and feel pathetic about myself when Christ died for me? I have worth in my life BECAUSE He died for me. And because of it, I can truly say that I have joy in my life. Luckily, I don't have to worry about trying to set an unobtainable goal because Christ has already achieved/accomplished/obtained everything for me.
-Simon
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