2NE1

21... it's so surreal.

In one sense... I feel pathetic. Of the 21 years of my life, I feel like I haven't really accomplished much in my life. I would give examples, but they're kind of personal and apparently I have a few readers out there haha (which I am still very surprised about). But as I look back, I feel like I'm not very proud of anything. Up to now, I have lived such a mediocre, lukewarm life that it saddens me. I'm always aiming for "contentment" and never really going for "above and beyond". I think it could either be that I'm lazy, or that I'm such a realist/pessimist--that whatever I try to set my goal to that sounds so crazy, that I feel like it's just impossible and I'll never be able to obtain it. I'm such a fool.

But in another sense... I feel so lucky. God has blessed me with 21 years of my life. Wow. I am so lucky to be a Christian. I am so lucky to have a loving family. I am so lucky to have friends who care for me (right?). I am so lucky that I have CPC as my church. I am so lucky to have my small group boys. The list goes on.

Although the first paragraph of this entry was a downer, it looks SO tiny next to the Cross. Like seriously, how can I be disappointed and feel pathetic about myself when Christ died for me? I have worth in my life BECAUSE He died for me. And because of it, I can truly say that I have joy in my life. Luckily, I don't have to worry about trying to set an unobtainable goal because Christ has already achieved/accomplished/obtained everything for me.

-Simon

Break Time!

Props to Sammy for sending this to me. I was impressed. Pretty entertaining.And I'm a big fan of Christopher Walken and Jack Nicholson. Good for a short break from studying! ENJOY!

Sick During Finals

I truly hate the feeling of being sick. Currently, I feel very cold inside, very weak, light-headed, sore with body aches, and uncomfortable altogether. Every movement, even as I type, requires so much energy in me. I feel so weak. I can't study. I can't even enjoy meals. I feel congested. I hate this feeling because I feel weak and not in control. I feel like I can't do anything by myself.

Thank you God once again for the reminder! Your grace is more than enough for me.

-Simon

3 Times a Day

So lately I've been going to the bathroom three times a day. It's very unusual of me (and I think for any human being?) to go that often. But it has been two weeks now and I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me. Initially, I took it as "Wow! I'm really healthy! My digestive system is awesome!" because don't get me wrong, they are all very solid and fresh. But at the same time on the flipside, that must mean I must have A LOT of crap in my system! (no pun intended, hehehe)

-Simon

Facebook Stalking

I just read Richard's blog, and I could not help but put my own input on the subject. :D

I realized how much humans just love to participate in voyeurism. I mean, the obsession of voyeurism was introduced to me through my film class while we were going over films by Alfred Hitchcock. Majority of his films, if not all, revolve around the theme of voyeurism. Humans just LOVE to vicariously live and experience life through others because they get the thrill of the experience, and get none of the consequences. I mean, I guess that's why we love watching movies and reading books right? We can escape reality and experience something outside of the limits of our own bodies without really experiencing all the negative consequences. Korean dramas is like the epitome of voyeurism. Fantasizing about being in that awesome relationship, yet not going through all the risks of a failed relationship in real life.

So is this what facebook stalking is all about? Or is it just that facebook stalkers just want information to gain POWER? Or maybe they just do have problems. (Like how I say they, so that I don't include myself in that category? hehehe). But yeah, I'm guilty of it, and I don't even know why I do it. Maybe Hitchcock was right.

What's awesome about this whole concept is that Christ goes beyond voyeurism. God is all-knowing. He knows what it's like to be a human being. Yet, Christ was still sent to live and experience a human life. He experienced life for Himself even when He probably had perfect knowledge of what human life is. He can perfectly empathize with us.

Ladies and gentlemen! Our God is a personal god! He knows us by our name! Amazing Love!

-Simon

Cold

I need prayer. My heart lacks prayer. I need warmth.

-Simon

PS- This was a weird entry.. I got one hour of sleep.

Doubt

A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it. People who blithely go through life too busy or indifferent to ask hard questions about why they believe as they do will find themselves defenseless against either the experience of tragedy or the probing questions of a smart skeptic. A person's faith can collapse almost overnight if she has failed over the years to listen patiently to her own doubts, which should only be discarded after long reflection.

Believers should acknowledge and wrestle with doubts--not only their own but their friends' and neighbors'. It is no longer sufficient to hold beliefs just because you inherited them. Only if you struggle long and hard with objections to your faith will you be able to provide grounds for your beliefs to skeptics, including yourself, that are plausible rather than ridiculous or offensive. And, just as important for our current situation, such a process will lead you, even after you come to a position of strong faith, to respect and understand those who doubt.

Reason For God. Tim Keller.

-Simon