Starting from finals weeks, I've been feeling a little discouraged. Mainly, I stressed so much about finals. I lacked trust in God. I was so worried that I would do terribly on my first quarter finals, and that I wouldn't feel "worthy" to be at UCLA (my original dream school). Even after finals, I still had this unsettling feeling. I suppose, this feeling of stress or being worried carried over to different problems I am facing such as the numerous uncertainties about my life/future. Once again, I lacked trust in God. And then I JUST read CK's blog. She quotes: "my anxiety is triggered not so much by a distrust in God as by an unwillingness to submit to and cheerfully accept His agenda for me". My pride has once again gotten in the way. I've also been reading up on Hebrews because it talks so much about perseverance and not forgetting salvation and Christ and all that good stuff. Seriously, it amazes me how much impact reading the Word and praying does on my life.
But today was a good day. I got to see CK, Michelle, and Arah again, met Eli Hwang, and hung out with good ol' Paraguay Team. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. Even though the majority of the day was eating and renting/watching movies at Michelle Park's, it just felt especially good to be with friends today. Then when I got home, I got a wonderful letter from a dear friend wishing me Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. It was pretty brief, but very warm and genuine. I don't know what it is. Something about letters that makes it feel much more personal and nice.
But yeah, to sum it all up, I was deeply encouraged. I was encouraged by Hebrews CH1-4, CK's blog post, friends, and a letter. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year!
-Simon
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Looking Forward
I had a crazy realization the other night. I realized that I enjoy longing for the prize rather than getting the prize. Does that make sense? Like for example, now. It's dead week, and even though I'm studying like mad, I'm pretty content and happy just because I know that winter break is just around the corner. When I have something to look forward to, like a long break, it makes the tough days so much more endurable. I think I enjoy the craziness RIGHT before the nice relaxing break just because I know I have something great coming. And for some reason, usually the actual "prize" isn't even that great. There are days during a long break when you just feel so sluggish and unproductive... you just feel like crap you know? The "prize" is usually a disappointment.
(What I'm about to say in this next paragraph is something I JUST realized!) But as Christians, we should always be content and happy because we know that The Prize is just around the corner. Just like how dead week is so endurable because winter break is around the corner, we should live our lives with perseverance and joy because that Day will come when we'll be married to God. So keep longing for that Day!
Come Lord Jesus Come!
-Simon
(What I'm about to say in this next paragraph is something I JUST realized!) But as Christians, we should always be content and happy because we know that The Prize is just around the corner. Just like how dead week is so endurable because winter break is around the corner, we should live our lives with perseverance and joy because that Day will come when we'll be married to God. So keep longing for that Day!
Come Lord Jesus Come!
-Simon
Friday, November 27, 2009
Dad
I think two Friday nights ago, one question stood out to me: What is your relational experience with your parents? Does this effect your perception of God's love and grace towards you?
My first instinct was to say that my relationship with my parents are good. It's definitely good with my mom. I've pretty much lived with her all my life, which helped get closer with my mom as I got older. And then I thought about my relationship with my dad, and I thought, "I don't really have much of a relationship with him since he's lived in Korea ever since I was four." Of course I've communicated with him throughout my life and spent a lot of time with him in Korea over a summer, but it's still hard to say that "I have a solid relationship with my dad" because I really don't.
Throughout high school and my freshmen year of college, I grew really bitter towards him. I wondered why he was still in Korea and not with my mom. I didn't understand why he chose to go to Korea to run a business away from his family in the first place. He didn't get to see any of us grow up. I hated him for causing my mom loneliness.
Just recently (during my sophomore year of college), I learned that my dad really went through a lot. Even when I saw him in Korea, I noticed that he had a lot more white hair, and looked a lot older. Spending such a long time alone away from his family caused a lot of anxiety, and caused his body to age faster I guess. I'm sure he went through A LOT of hardships. This is what I call sacrificial love. Obviously it wasn't perfectly demonstrated like God did, but my dad went through a hell of a lot to try to support my family.
So how does this effect my perception of God's love and grace towards me? Well, my dad was physically "invisible" in my life. It seemed like he was never around. But my dad, even without my knowing it, was working his butt off to send money over to America so I can have clothes to wear, food to eat, and a place to live in. Although I can't "see" God, He is constantly working in me through his Spirit when I don't even know it. His grace is all around me without my knowing, and He provides me with all things. I get bitter towards God constantly because I feel like He's not present in my life. I get angry if it seems like God isn't providing for me or tending to my desires. Most importantly, while my dad imperfectly, sacrificially loved me, God demonstrated the perfect sacrificial love by giving up His one and only Son, the Perfect Sacrifice.
Unexpectedly, God revealed more about His character to me through my dad. I will continue on my journey in getting to know more about God everyday.
So what am I thankful for on this Thanksgiving evening (technically it already passed)? I'm thankful for my dad, but most importantly, for God and His Sacrificial Love!
-Simon
My first instinct was to say that my relationship with my parents are good. It's definitely good with my mom. I've pretty much lived with her all my life, which helped get closer with my mom as I got older. And then I thought about my relationship with my dad, and I thought, "I don't really have much of a relationship with him since he's lived in Korea ever since I was four." Of course I've communicated with him throughout my life and spent a lot of time with him in Korea over a summer, but it's still hard to say that "I have a solid relationship with my dad" because I really don't.
Throughout high school and my freshmen year of college, I grew really bitter towards him. I wondered why he was still in Korea and not with my mom. I didn't understand why he chose to go to Korea to run a business away from his family in the first place. He didn't get to see any of us grow up. I hated him for causing my mom loneliness.
Just recently (during my sophomore year of college), I learned that my dad really went through a lot. Even when I saw him in Korea, I noticed that he had a lot more white hair, and looked a lot older. Spending such a long time alone away from his family caused a lot of anxiety, and caused his body to age faster I guess. I'm sure he went through A LOT of hardships. This is what I call sacrificial love. Obviously it wasn't perfectly demonstrated like God did, but my dad went through a hell of a lot to try to support my family.
So how does this effect my perception of God's love and grace towards me? Well, my dad was physically "invisible" in my life. It seemed like he was never around. But my dad, even without my knowing it, was working his butt off to send money over to America so I can have clothes to wear, food to eat, and a place to live in. Although I can't "see" God, He is constantly working in me through his Spirit when I don't even know it. His grace is all around me without my knowing, and He provides me with all things. I get bitter towards God constantly because I feel like He's not present in my life. I get angry if it seems like God isn't providing for me or tending to my desires. Most importantly, while my dad imperfectly, sacrificially loved me, God demonstrated the perfect sacrificial love by giving up His one and only Son, the Perfect Sacrifice.
Unexpectedly, God revealed more about His character to me through my dad. I will continue on my journey in getting to know more about God everyday.
So what am I thankful for on this Thanksgiving evening (technically it already passed)? I'm thankful for my dad, but most importantly, for God and His Sacrificial Love!
-Simon
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Eating
I remember back in the day when I used to live with my brother, that guy can eat really well. The funny thing is, he could eat well not only when the food was good, but even when it tasted like crap. Like, I remember times when I'd complain so much that the food tasted terribly and I would refuse to eat it. But I'd look over to my brother, dead silent and just downing his food, and after he was finished he just goes "I just eat all the nasty stuff first so I can enjoy the good stuff at the end." After hearing that, I'd watch him eat other times and be dumbfounded at how deliciously he'd eat even the "nasty stuff." His big bites, stuffed mouth, putting food in his mouth while he's still chewing, and not a single word from him. He has a gift. Cause ahjoomas HATE it when you leave leftovers you know? But no matter how nasty the food is, he'll eat everything and more importantly, make it look FREAKING good! Sometimes we'd joke that even if he were to eat crap itself, he'd still make it look super delicious.
Furthermore, there would be times when I'd be super full or have no appetite due to being sick with something, and after I would watch him eat, I'd start eating just because he made it look so good! Man, every time he ate, it looked like it was his last meal of his life (especially when it was Mexican food or In-N-Out). Man, good times.
-Simon
Furthermore, there would be times when I'd be super full or have no appetite due to being sick with something, and after I would watch him eat, I'd start eating just because he made it look so good! Man, every time he ate, it looked like it was his last meal of his life (especially when it was Mexican food or In-N-Out). Man, good times.
-Simon
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Found
I think a good indicator of your spiritual walk is your prayer life and frequency of genuine repentance. You know you are spiritually dying when your prayer life is dry. Tim Keller says "there are three kinds of people: a business associate you don't really like, a friend you enjoy doing things with, and someone you are in love with and who is in love with you. Your conversations with the business associate will be quite goal-oriented. You won't be interested in chitchat. With your friend you may open your heart about some of the problems you are having. But with your lover you will sense a strong impulse to speak about what you find beautiful about him or her." It doesn't matter whether you are the most rebellious non-Christian or the most disciplined Christian. If your prayer life sucks, then you are equally lost. It's ironic because the most disciplined Christian can pray multiple times a day, and still be lost. Their prayers may be filled with the same recitation of wants and desires, with little or no exaltation of the Lord. And this increases depending on the circumstances of their situations.
With Christ-exalting prayer comes genuine repentance. It's more than just repenting the things we have done wrong. It's also repenting the reasons we ever did anything right. Sin is dangerous in that "doing good" can also be very bad. Being legalistic and trying to earn your salvation is very bad. Thus, "we must learn how to repent of the sin under all our other sins and under all our righteousness, the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord."
So do you feel like you're lost? I feel lost all the time in my Christian walk. "How can you tell if he is working on you now? If you begin to sense your lostness and find yourself wanting to escape it, you should realize that that desire is not something you could have generated on your own. Such a process requires Help, and if it is happening it is a good indication that he is even now at your side."
Basically, we are all lost in our sin. But we are truly lucky to have God who is actively pursuing us. Only through Christ and the sanctification of the Holy Spirit, we are found.
-Simon
With Christ-exalting prayer comes genuine repentance. It's more than just repenting the things we have done wrong. It's also repenting the reasons we ever did anything right. Sin is dangerous in that "doing good" can also be very bad. Being legalistic and trying to earn your salvation is very bad. Thus, "we must learn how to repent of the sin under all our other sins and under all our righteousness, the sin of seeking to be our own Savior and Lord."
So do you feel like you're lost? I feel lost all the time in my Christian walk. "How can you tell if he is working on you now? If you begin to sense your lostness and find yourself wanting to escape it, you should realize that that desire is not something you could have generated on your own. Such a process requires Help, and if it is happening it is a good indication that he is even now at your side."
Basically, we are all lost in our sin. But we are truly lucky to have God who is actively pursuing us. Only through Christ and the sanctification of the Holy Spirit, we are found.
-Simon
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Happy Birthday Umma!
On October 25, 1955, Park Chong Boon entered the world. She came to know the Lord in her elementary school years at her mission school. Despite the persecution she faced from her Buddhist family, she still snuck out of the house to attend church services and activities. In 1978, she met her non-Christian husband, Chung Im Chul, through an army friend of his. Upon hearing her sing the hymn, "How Great Thou Art," the unbelieving man began to go to church to listen to the choir. In 1980, the couple was married. In 1982, they immigrated to the United States. In 1984, their first son was born. In 1989, their second son was born. Both sons know the Lord. The husband knows the Lord as well. Amazing what one birth can bring about. Happy Birthday, 마!-post by my brother :)
-Simon
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Surrender
Last night, I was doing some philosophy reading. Suddenly, my ADD kicked in and my attention diverted to my future. I started to think about how difficult my upper division math classes will be, if I will graduate on time (cause for some reason graduating later is frowned upon, right?), thinking about possible internships, and ultimately my future career. It sucks because whenever I start thinking about the future, I panic. I got out a few sheets of paper, opened up the list of classes offered for Winter quarter, and I literally started to plan for my future classes for a good 2-3 hours. I was also considering changing my major from pure mathematics to mathematics/economics. Because of this, I kind of planned for both routes, seeing which upper division classes seem more enjoyable (or doable). Just thinking about taking 4 upper division math classes gave me a head ache. I love math, but four is a lot.
A few hours before I did all of this planning, I sent out an email to the LA guys small group encouraging them to constantly be in prayer. It's got to be habitual. Especially during the middle of the week when you're suffocating from all the workload and studying, it helps so much to just stop what you're doing, take a deep breath, and spend a minute or two to just pray. It's also good to pray right before you study--it reminds you that God should be your motivation to study. I don't know if it's psychological, or if it's the Holy Spirit working, but I feel more at ease and stress-relieved after a nice short prayer.
With that said, I remembered all of this today while I was waiting for my math discussion to start. Needless to say, I opened up the Bible to Proverbs 16, and the first line was: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD." Just from reading that particular verse, my shoulders felt lighter, I felt rejuvenated, and I basically just felt so comforted by God. It always confused me why some people favored the idea of being in control of their own lives. To me, the thought of controlling my own life through my imperfect efforts is just scary. How comforting is it that no matter what happens, that the Perfect and Powerful God is guiding us and that even if we go astray like sheep, the Good Shepherd always puts us in the right direction.
So? Did you pray today?
-Simon
A few hours before I did all of this planning, I sent out an email to the LA guys small group encouraging them to constantly be in prayer. It's got to be habitual. Especially during the middle of the week when you're suffocating from all the workload and studying, it helps so much to just stop what you're doing, take a deep breath, and spend a minute or two to just pray. It's also good to pray right before you study--it reminds you that God should be your motivation to study. I don't know if it's psychological, or if it's the Holy Spirit working, but I feel more at ease and stress-relieved after a nice short prayer.
With that said, I remembered all of this today while I was waiting for my math discussion to start. Needless to say, I opened up the Bible to Proverbs 16, and the first line was: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD." Just from reading that particular verse, my shoulders felt lighter, I felt rejuvenated, and I basically just felt so comforted by God. It always confused me why some people favored the idea of being in control of their own lives. To me, the thought of controlling my own life through my imperfect efforts is just scary. How comforting is it that no matter what happens, that the Perfect and Powerful God is guiding us and that even if we go astray like sheep, the Good Shepherd always puts us in the right direction.
So? Did you pray today?
-Simon
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Pride
Paraguay team of 2008 went over this book called "Humility True Greatness" by CJ Mahaney. It is provided and led by Pastor Harold. Every night, we simply read a chapter together and afterwards, shared our thoughts on the reading. I feel like it was during that trip where I started to truly think about Godly humility. The book talks about how pride is our greatest enemy, and humility our greatest friend.
I like CJ Mahaney's description of pride: Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him. Throughout this particular chapter, he quotes many verses talking about how much God abhors pride. His hatred for pride is pure, and His hatred is holy. He actively opposes pride. Mahaney also quotes John Calvin saying, "God cannot bear with seeing his glory appropriated by the creature in even the smallest degree, so intolerable to him is the sacrilegious arrogance of those who, by praising themselves, obscure his glory as far as they can." Basically, pride is the most difficult sin to root out, and the most hidden, secret and deceitful of all lusts. Pride kills unity, which can ultimately divide a church.
Humility is so great in a sense that it is only through Godly humility that we can even come before God and acknowledge His existence and power. It's ironic because I think it was CS Lewis who claimed that the one who tries to be humble, is the most arrogant. It's because true humility comes from God, not from oneself. You can't just "try your best" to be humble. It should be an automatic response after the Holy Spirit illuminates the Gospel in your heart.
Anyway, I've been rambling. I just wanted to say, I'm rereading this book and I'm loving it. I recommend it to all of you! :)
-Simon
I like CJ Mahaney's description of pride: Pride is when sinful human beings aspire to the status and position of God and refuse to acknowledge their dependence upon Him. Throughout this particular chapter, he quotes many verses talking about how much God abhors pride. His hatred for pride is pure, and His hatred is holy. He actively opposes pride. Mahaney also quotes John Calvin saying, "God cannot bear with seeing his glory appropriated by the creature in even the smallest degree, so intolerable to him is the sacrilegious arrogance of those who, by praising themselves, obscure his glory as far as they can." Basically, pride is the most difficult sin to root out, and the most hidden, secret and deceitful of all lusts. Pride kills unity, which can ultimately divide a church.
Humility is so great in a sense that it is only through Godly humility that we can even come before God and acknowledge His existence and power. It's ironic because I think it was CS Lewis who claimed that the one who tries to be humble, is the most arrogant. It's because true humility comes from God, not from oneself. You can't just "try your best" to be humble. It should be an automatic response after the Holy Spirit illuminates the Gospel in your heart.
Anyway, I've been rambling. I just wanted to say, I'm rereading this book and I'm loving it. I recommend it to all of you! :)
-Simon
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Jans Steps
Every time I came to visit UCLA, I always came with Joe Chong and a 3rd person. Today, Joe Chong and Curtis came to visit UCLA, and it felt weird how I was one of the people they came to visit. I am a UCLA student! I was thinking, "interesting... so this is how UCLA people felt when Joe and I came to visit." It was just so strange.
Throughout the day, Curtis was complaining so much about how UCLA was better than UCSD in like everything. Whether it was the dining halls, the dorms, the girls, the campus, and even the trees, Curtis just couldn't get over how awesome UCLA was. It didn't really hit me though... until we got to Jans Steps. We walked up Jans Steps, sat down and enjoyed the beautiful view. The atmosphere got dimmer as the sun set, and the view only got more and more beautiful. It was then, when I truly felt proud to be a Bruin. And then I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture. The ultimate picture. More than just the beauty of the campus, I was moved by the beauty of the vast creation before me. It was then, when I truly felt proud to be a Christian.
-Simon
Throughout the day, Curtis was complaining so much about how UCLA was better than UCSD in like everything. Whether it was the dining halls, the dorms, the girls, the campus, and even the trees, Curtis just couldn't get over how awesome UCLA was. It didn't really hit me though... until we got to Jans Steps. We walked up Jans Steps, sat down and enjoyed the beautiful view. The atmosphere got dimmer as the sun set, and the view only got more and more beautiful. It was then, when I truly felt proud to be a Bruin. And then I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture. The ultimate picture. More than just the beauty of the campus, I was moved by the beauty of the vast creation before me. It was then, when I truly felt proud to be a Christian.
-Simon
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Laziness!
I've probably rubbed it in many people's faces about how I have an awesome 4 month summer. Sure, I'm loving it. It is one of the chillest summers I've ever had in my life. It felt great coming back from Paraguay and still having 2 months left of summer. It felt great coming back from youth group retreat and still having a month of summer left. But while my human/flesh/worldly side is enjoying all of this, my spiritual side is aching right now.
I often wish school would start already, not because I want to study or anything, but because that is when my QT's are somewhat consistent. It's ironic how even though I have all this time during the summer that I rarely make time for God. Whereas when I have almost no time due to school and studying and working, that I make time for God in the mornings before all the chaos begins.
So I guess that's one way to answer the question: why does God allow suffering in this world? I am so content right now, I am so complacent with my walk, I am comfortable, life is great, and I feel like I don't need God anymore. Right when the sufferings, the hardships, the trials come in, that's when it brings us back to God in utter humility because we realize we are nothing without God and we can't do anything without Him. Haha, no wonder Apostle Paul was so faithful.
I know this is a deadly and scary request from God, and it makes my stomach churn just thinking about it. But I hope that God will cause me to suffer so that I can see and once again realize the magnitude of God's glory, grace, and power. Most likely I will experience it once I start school. Lookin' forward to it!
-Simon
I often wish school would start already, not because I want to study or anything, but because that is when my QT's are somewhat consistent. It's ironic how even though I have all this time during the summer that I rarely make time for God. Whereas when I have almost no time due to school and studying and working, that I make time for God in the mornings before all the chaos begins.
So I guess that's one way to answer the question: why does God allow suffering in this world? I am so content right now, I am so complacent with my walk, I am comfortable, life is great, and I feel like I don't need God anymore. Right when the sufferings, the hardships, the trials come in, that's when it brings us back to God in utter humility because we realize we are nothing without God and we can't do anything without Him. Haha, no wonder Apostle Paul was so faithful.
I know this is a deadly and scary request from God, and it makes my stomach churn just thinking about it. But I hope that God will cause me to suffer so that I can see and once again realize the magnitude of God's glory, grace, and power. Most likely I will experience it once I start school. Lookin' forward to it!
-Simon
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
The War Against Your Soul
Christine recommended me this incredibly encouraging sermon by Rick Holland about the seriousness of sin.
We often underestimate our sin. Daily, we are defeated by our temptations in this spiritual warfare because we glorify ourselves and minimize sin. We humanize God thinking that God will take sin lightly and He'll forgive us anyway. But the fact is, sin = imperfection, God = perfection, and thus God cannot stand the sight of sin.
What's ironic about this is that our sin has nothing to do with Satan. Sure Satan attacks us constantly through temptations, but the enemy is really ourselves. It is our sins that constantly pick a fight with our souls to prevent us from pleasing God. Our fleshly lusts are in our heart. And as Christians, we are called to fight! In 1 Peter 2:11, it says "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul." We are sojourners, foreigners of this world, because our citizenship is in heaven. Therefore, we must be in the world, not of the world.
So how do we fight?
There are two things that humble the souls of man:
1. A thorough consideration of God in His greatness, majesty, authority, glory, power, and holiness.
2. A thorough consideration of man in our lowly insignificance and sinful condition.
We must know ourselves. We must know our sin. By knowing the significance of our sin, we can know the significance of grace. When we know ourselves and our sin, we must ask ourselves: what associates/friends do Satan have in our hearts? When I heard this question, I couldn't help but feel so uncomfortable. Wow. What a thought. Satan, the enemy of the God, has friends in our hearts who he can call to fire up in order to go against God's will. Doesn't it make you feel so disgusted to have such things in your hearts that you want to just rip them out of your chest?
We must identify the associates of Satan, and kill them--or they will kill us. Unless you do this, you will never know the glory of the Gospel and the necessity of it. Rick Holland says an interesting quote that Piper says: "If you're fighting sin, you're alive. If not, no matter how alive the sin makes you feel, you are dead."
Supposedly, there was this woman in the safari named Ono. She did the unthinkable: she left her safari truck to take pictures of group of lions. Everything seemed fine until she turned around and had her back facing the lions. The lions ripped her apart to death. Ono was captivated by the beauty of the lions. When she least expected it, they mauled her to death. She miscalculated/underestimated. Don't be like Ono. Don't take sin lightly and be tempted by its temporary pleasures because it will kill you when you don't even know it.
It is only through Christ that we can conquer sin. Only his blood can make the foulest clean. Put on Christ and may His grace completely obliterate the sins in our hearts.
-Simon
We often underestimate our sin. Daily, we are defeated by our temptations in this spiritual warfare because we glorify ourselves and minimize sin. We humanize God thinking that God will take sin lightly and He'll forgive us anyway. But the fact is, sin = imperfection, God = perfection, and thus God cannot stand the sight of sin.
What's ironic about this is that our sin has nothing to do with Satan. Sure Satan attacks us constantly through temptations, but the enemy is really ourselves. It is our sins that constantly pick a fight with our souls to prevent us from pleasing God. Our fleshly lusts are in our heart. And as Christians, we are called to fight! In 1 Peter 2:11, it says "Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul." We are sojourners, foreigners of this world, because our citizenship is in heaven. Therefore, we must be in the world, not of the world.
So how do we fight?
There are two things that humble the souls of man:
1. A thorough consideration of God in His greatness, majesty, authority, glory, power, and holiness.
2. A thorough consideration of man in our lowly insignificance and sinful condition.
We must know ourselves. We must know our sin. By knowing the significance of our sin, we can know the significance of grace. When we know ourselves and our sin, we must ask ourselves: what associates/friends do Satan have in our hearts? When I heard this question, I couldn't help but feel so uncomfortable. Wow. What a thought. Satan, the enemy of the God, has friends in our hearts who he can call to fire up in order to go against God's will. Doesn't it make you feel so disgusted to have such things in your hearts that you want to just rip them out of your chest?
We must identify the associates of Satan, and kill them--or they will kill us. Unless you do this, you will never know the glory of the Gospel and the necessity of it. Rick Holland says an interesting quote that Piper says: "If you're fighting sin, you're alive. If not, no matter how alive the sin makes you feel, you are dead."
Supposedly, there was this woman in the safari named Ono. She did the unthinkable: she left her safari truck to take pictures of group of lions. Everything seemed fine until she turned around and had her back facing the lions. The lions ripped her apart to death. Ono was captivated by the beauty of the lions. When she least expected it, they mauled her to death. She miscalculated/underestimated. Don't be like Ono. Don't take sin lightly and be tempted by its temporary pleasures because it will kill you when you don't even know it.
It is only through Christ that we can conquer sin. Only his blood can make the foulest clean. Put on Christ and may His grace completely obliterate the sins in our hearts.
-Simon
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Pilgrims Progress
Let's start off with a little background information. Everyone is pretty much dead at retreat, including counselors and leaders. It was actually pretty sad. You can really tell all the kids and counselors were feeling pretty out of it. Kids looked apathetic about worship, counselors and leaders were sick and tired. It was like that on the first two days. Then comes the third day with Pilgrims Progress (truly was a kick in the butt).
So at the start of it, we all gathered in the chapel and they explained how we were all going by grade: seniors and juniors went together, sophomores, freshmen, 8th grade, and 7th grade. So roughly around 4 or 5 groups. I'm not sure how they grouped the younger classmen because I went with the seniors and juniors (I counseled the juniors). The counselors had to experience Pilgrims Progress with the students. They thought it would be a good idea. So the counselors that went with seniors and juniors were me, Terrance, Joy, and Michelle Park.
Station #1 Dead in Sin: At the first station, we saw Pastor Joshua, Andrew Kim UCR, Stella, and Priscilla Chung. From the start, they all look serious and pissed. First thing we do is start off with a memory verse. They gave us 3 minutes to memorize this verse about how sinners are of the devil, and the Son of Man came down to destroy the devil's works. Then Pastor Joshua would call us out (he wouldn't acknowledge us by name, so he called us "you") one by one at random and we'd have to say the words in the verse one by one in order. After multiple tries, we finally got it. After, they passed out a paper. On it were various sins such as Laziness, Pride, Lust, Self-Righteousness, etc. Then they gave us a blank piece of paper and a sharpie so that we could write the sin we are struggling with on the paper, and we attached the paper on our back. We formed a semi-circle, and there was a towel in the middle. One by one, each person had to kneel down on the towel in the middle of the group, and we all had to point at the person and scream out their sin. Sometimes Pastor Joshua made us say it one by one by ourselves, and for other people he'd make us scream it out in unison as a group. Already at this point, the seniors and juniors were pissed. It's pretty uncomfortable pointing at your own friends and yelling out their sin you know? But anyway, we got through it and they told us that because we are dead in our sin, we had to go to Hell, which was Station #2.
Station #2 Hell: We were instructed to walk to station 2 without talking. So as you can probably guess, there already was a lot of tension within the group. Station 2 was at the basketball courts which had no shade, so it portrayed Hell pretty well because it was pretty dang hot. At this station, there was Yom, Yohan (one of the seminar speakers), and Cara. Right when they see us walking towards the basketball courts, they yell at us telling us to hurry up and run and form two even lines. They gave us 10 seconds. Because we couldn't do it, they made us do a couple push-ups on the really hot ground. After, we spread out and did the "up downs" (you know in Remember the Titans where they shuffle their feet and when they blow the whistle, you have to go down and back up?). We did that for a while and it got pretty freaking tiring. Then we had to do suicides (everyone starts at the base line, then runs to first line and back, second line and back, etc.) a couple times. By this time, everyone is dehydrated, hot, and very irritable. After, we went in our lines, and they called one person at a time out again and we had to scream out our "My name is _____ and I struggle with ____" again. And then everyone had to point and scream out their name and their sin. As we kept doing it, Phil Kim got super frustrated and he just stopped. So Yohan got all up in his face and asked if he was special and why he wasn't doing it. Phil Kim said "I'm tired," so they made us roll the entire length of the basketball court and back. It doesn't sound that bad, but when you're dehydrated, it makes you pretty dizzy. So Albert Choi and Jewey started throwing up their breakfast. After, the counselors had to blind fold everyone. They were all in a line, grabbing the shoulders of the person in front of them, and the counselors had to lead them to Station 3 which was freaking far. The pathway had all these jacked up rocks everywhere, and it was all down hill. This was to symbolize the blind leading the blind, and that without Christ, you feel very alone, lost, helpless, hopeless, etc.
Station #3 Grace: Here, we saw Jinah JDSN, Andrew S Kim, and Jo Kim. As we led them their blind-folded, each were taken to the side and asked several questions about accepting Christ and whatnot. After the questions, they got to take their blindfolds off symbolizing that with Christ, they can see now. Then they had to memorize the verse Ephesians 2:8-9. After we all prayed together, Jinah JDSN instructs us to carry our "cross" until the rest of the Pilgrims Progress. They made us carry these poles over our shoulders, and off we went to station 4.
Station #4 Temptation: This station obviously portrays the Christian life where even after you accept Christ, you will still face many temptations. So right when we got there, we saw James Yang, Stella, and Ham. Right when we get there, the three of them are super nice asking questions like "Dude, how was it? Are you guys tired? Do you guys want some water?" So from the start, we were all kind of suspicious especially because all the other stations were super serious and mean to us. Terrance would ask "where do we sit?" and Stella responded with "Oh, you guys can sit anywhere you want." So it was just really weird. But right when the kids came in, the three of them went to them with water bottles asking if they want to drink some. All the kids of course gave in and started drinking. Keep in mind, at this point EVERYONE is dead tired and dehydrated. Also, we had no idea this was suppose to be a temptation stage. So as I observed, I noticed a lot of scary images. I still remember it... it's burned into my skull. One of my kids walked up to Stella and asked if he could drink some water. Stella said "Oh sure, he's a water bottle. Let me take your cross for you so you can drink some." RIGHT THERE, I started screaming to everyone "GET AWAY FROM THEM! THIS IS A TEMPTATION STAGE. DON'T DRINK THE WATER. JUST STAY AWAY AND SIT DOWN AND DON'T EVEN TALK TO THEM! AND HOLD ONTO YOUR CROSSES!" Then I saw an even scarier image. Stella said "Okay fine, you guys can carry your crosses but I'm worried you guys are dehydrated. How about you guys just lift up your heads, open your mouths, and I will pour the water into your mouths." So as you can imagine, I saw this scary image of Stella standing in the midst of all these thirsty kids heads back and mouths open, desperately trying to get some water. The kids looked so pathetic and desperate (like Christians being unable to discipline themselves from falling into sin) crowding around Stella trying to get some water. In the end, everyone had to do punishment because we all fell. They said if you drank water, ate a popsicle, or even sat down on the bench, you failed. So we had to do some more "up downs" with our crosses. After memorizing another memory verse, we took our crosses and walked over to Station 5.
Station #5 Christ's Humility: The last station brought everything together. As we approached station 5, we see the several leaders including Pastor Joshua again, Chris JDSN, Yongman, etc. We also see a huge circle of chairs, with buckets of water and soap in front of the chairs. Basically, we had to wash each other's feet. The way we did it was the counselors washed the seniors feet, seniors washed juniors feet, when sophomores came, the juniors washed the sophomore's feet, etc. kind of like a trickling down effect. As you can imagine, it was a mutual humbling experience for both the washer, and for the one being washed. To see your older brother/sister wash your own feet is just a weird feeling; let alone washing feet in general is weird. After washing each other's feet, we'd pray together. After I finished praying with my student, I would look around and I'd see students praying for students as they hugged each other. And for some reason, tears just started running down my face. Just the sight of two brothers/sisters coming together to pray for one another just filled me with so much happiness and joy. It was such a beautiful picture. Basically, this station symbolized humble servitude. Christ, our King, our Creator, our Power, came down as a lowly human being to SERVE US. So we got to have just a tiny little taste of what Christ went through as we served our younger brothers/sisters.
What hit me the most about Pilgrims Progress was the leader's debriefing meeting about it. Basically, every leader who was leading the Pilgrims Progress had a very hard time. During the first and second group it was okay, but after doing it for 4 or 5 groups, it does something to you, you know? Like Yom talked about how in his station (Hell), screaming and yelling at the kids like it's boot camp obviously made him feel like crap. Andrew Kim UCR making all the kids scream out their peers' sins and just seeing their angry emotions. Andrew took it hard. But James Yang hit me the most. He was at the temptation station. He basically shared how it was so easy and fun to deceive the first two groups who came. But after seeing group after group failing and seeing how easy it was, it broke his heart more and more. He basically saw how easy it was for us to be distracted away from our mission and how easily we give in to our temptations. Basically, he said it was analogous to how God sees Christians and how it must break his heart every time we buy into temptation. And I even thought of myself. I didn't take a sip of the ice cold refreshing water, I held my cross till the end, yet I still failed because I sat down on the bench. Satan is so clever that he can make you fall even when you don't know it. And we are so stupid and oblivious that we fail ALL the time.
But yeah, that's pretty much it. Didn't expect to write so much, but there was so much to tell. Hope this was encouraging!
So at the start of it, we all gathered in the chapel and they explained how we were all going by grade: seniors and juniors went together, sophomores, freshmen, 8th grade, and 7th grade. So roughly around 4 or 5 groups. I'm not sure how they grouped the younger classmen because I went with the seniors and juniors (I counseled the juniors). The counselors had to experience Pilgrims Progress with the students. They thought it would be a good idea. So the counselors that went with seniors and juniors were me, Terrance, Joy, and Michelle Park.
Station #1 Dead in Sin: At the first station, we saw Pastor Joshua, Andrew Kim UCR, Stella, and Priscilla Chung. From the start, they all look serious and pissed. First thing we do is start off with a memory verse. They gave us 3 minutes to memorize this verse about how sinners are of the devil, and the Son of Man came down to destroy the devil's works. Then Pastor Joshua would call us out (he wouldn't acknowledge us by name, so he called us "you") one by one at random and we'd have to say the words in the verse one by one in order. After multiple tries, we finally got it. After, they passed out a paper. On it were various sins such as Laziness, Pride, Lust, Self-Righteousness, etc. Then they gave us a blank piece of paper and a sharpie so that we could write the sin we are struggling with on the paper, and we attached the paper on our back. We formed a semi-circle, and there was a towel in the middle. One by one, each person had to kneel down on the towel in the middle of the group, and we all had to point at the person and scream out their sin. Sometimes Pastor Joshua made us say it one by one by ourselves, and for other people he'd make us scream it out in unison as a group. Already at this point, the seniors and juniors were pissed. It's pretty uncomfortable pointing at your own friends and yelling out their sin you know? But anyway, we got through it and they told us that because we are dead in our sin, we had to go to Hell, which was Station #2.
Station #2 Hell: We were instructed to walk to station 2 without talking. So as you can probably guess, there already was a lot of tension within the group. Station 2 was at the basketball courts which had no shade, so it portrayed Hell pretty well because it was pretty dang hot. At this station, there was Yom, Yohan (one of the seminar speakers), and Cara. Right when they see us walking towards the basketball courts, they yell at us telling us to hurry up and run and form two even lines. They gave us 10 seconds. Because we couldn't do it, they made us do a couple push-ups on the really hot ground. After, we spread out and did the "up downs" (you know in Remember the Titans where they shuffle their feet and when they blow the whistle, you have to go down and back up?). We did that for a while and it got pretty freaking tiring. Then we had to do suicides (everyone starts at the base line, then runs to first line and back, second line and back, etc.) a couple times. By this time, everyone is dehydrated, hot, and very irritable. After, we went in our lines, and they called one person at a time out again and we had to scream out our "My name is _____ and I struggle with ____" again. And then everyone had to point and scream out their name and their sin. As we kept doing it, Phil Kim got super frustrated and he just stopped. So Yohan got all up in his face and asked if he was special and why he wasn't doing it. Phil Kim said "I'm tired," so they made us roll the entire length of the basketball court and back. It doesn't sound that bad, but when you're dehydrated, it makes you pretty dizzy. So Albert Choi and Jewey started throwing up their breakfast. After, the counselors had to blind fold everyone. They were all in a line, grabbing the shoulders of the person in front of them, and the counselors had to lead them to Station 3 which was freaking far. The pathway had all these jacked up rocks everywhere, and it was all down hill. This was to symbolize the blind leading the blind, and that without Christ, you feel very alone, lost, helpless, hopeless, etc.
Station #3 Grace: Here, we saw Jinah JDSN, Andrew S Kim, and Jo Kim. As we led them their blind-folded, each were taken to the side and asked several questions about accepting Christ and whatnot. After the questions, they got to take their blindfolds off symbolizing that with Christ, they can see now. Then they had to memorize the verse Ephesians 2:8-9. After we all prayed together, Jinah JDSN instructs us to carry our "cross" until the rest of the Pilgrims Progress. They made us carry these poles over our shoulders, and off we went to station 4.
Station #4 Temptation: This station obviously portrays the Christian life where even after you accept Christ, you will still face many temptations. So right when we got there, we saw James Yang, Stella, and Ham. Right when we get there, the three of them are super nice asking questions like "Dude, how was it? Are you guys tired? Do you guys want some water?" So from the start, we were all kind of suspicious especially because all the other stations were super serious and mean to us. Terrance would ask "where do we sit?" and Stella responded with "Oh, you guys can sit anywhere you want." So it was just really weird. But right when the kids came in, the three of them went to them with water bottles asking if they want to drink some. All the kids of course gave in and started drinking. Keep in mind, at this point EVERYONE is dead tired and dehydrated. Also, we had no idea this was suppose to be a temptation stage. So as I observed, I noticed a lot of scary images. I still remember it... it's burned into my skull. One of my kids walked up to Stella and asked if he could drink some water. Stella said "Oh sure, he's a water bottle. Let me take your cross for you so you can drink some." RIGHT THERE, I started screaming to everyone "GET AWAY FROM THEM! THIS IS A TEMPTATION STAGE. DON'T DRINK THE WATER. JUST STAY AWAY AND SIT DOWN AND DON'T EVEN TALK TO THEM! AND HOLD ONTO YOUR CROSSES!" Then I saw an even scarier image. Stella said "Okay fine, you guys can carry your crosses but I'm worried you guys are dehydrated. How about you guys just lift up your heads, open your mouths, and I will pour the water into your mouths." So as you can imagine, I saw this scary image of Stella standing in the midst of all these thirsty kids heads back and mouths open, desperately trying to get some water. The kids looked so pathetic and desperate (like Christians being unable to discipline themselves from falling into sin) crowding around Stella trying to get some water. In the end, everyone had to do punishment because we all fell. They said if you drank water, ate a popsicle, or even sat down on the bench, you failed. So we had to do some more "up downs" with our crosses. After memorizing another memory verse, we took our crosses and walked over to Station 5.
Station #5 Christ's Humility: The last station brought everything together. As we approached station 5, we see the several leaders including Pastor Joshua again, Chris JDSN, Yongman, etc. We also see a huge circle of chairs, with buckets of water and soap in front of the chairs. Basically, we had to wash each other's feet. The way we did it was the counselors washed the seniors feet, seniors washed juniors feet, when sophomores came, the juniors washed the sophomore's feet, etc. kind of like a trickling down effect. As you can imagine, it was a mutual humbling experience for both the washer, and for the one being washed. To see your older brother/sister wash your own feet is just a weird feeling; let alone washing feet in general is weird. After washing each other's feet, we'd pray together. After I finished praying with my student, I would look around and I'd see students praying for students as they hugged each other. And for some reason, tears just started running down my face. Just the sight of two brothers/sisters coming together to pray for one another just filled me with so much happiness and joy. It was such a beautiful picture. Basically, this station symbolized humble servitude. Christ, our King, our Creator, our Power, came down as a lowly human being to SERVE US. So we got to have just a tiny little taste of what Christ went through as we served our younger brothers/sisters.
What hit me the most about Pilgrims Progress was the leader's debriefing meeting about it. Basically, every leader who was leading the Pilgrims Progress had a very hard time. During the first and second group it was okay, but after doing it for 4 or 5 groups, it does something to you, you know? Like Yom talked about how in his station (Hell), screaming and yelling at the kids like it's boot camp obviously made him feel like crap. Andrew Kim UCR making all the kids scream out their peers' sins and just seeing their angry emotions. Andrew took it hard. But James Yang hit me the most. He was at the temptation station. He basically shared how it was so easy and fun to deceive the first two groups who came. But after seeing group after group failing and seeing how easy it was, it broke his heart more and more. He basically saw how easy it was for us to be distracted away from our mission and how easily we give in to our temptations. Basically, he said it was analogous to how God sees Christians and how it must break his heart every time we buy into temptation. And I even thought of myself. I didn't take a sip of the ice cold refreshing water, I held my cross till the end, yet I still failed because I sat down on the bench. Satan is so clever that he can make you fall even when you don't know it. And we are so stupid and oblivious that we fail ALL the time.
But yeah, that's pretty much it. Didn't expect to write so much, but there was so much to tell. Hope this was encouraging!
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Paraguay Trip #2
This trip was very different from my last year's trip. On my first trip, everything was new to me: I was exposed to Paraguayan culture for the first time, the poverty, learning about the broken families, terrible fathers who abandon their children/cheat on their wives/sexually abuse their kids, suicides, etc. Everything was just so crazy experiencing and realizing all of this on my first trip. On my second trip, I was already aware of all these things and this time I paid more attention to the details: how hard the jovenes work so diligently and joyfully, how hard the Cho family serves, having more conversations with the kids during Horas Felices (VBS), strengthening relationships with jovenes. I feel like my first trip was more of the "experiencing" factor, while this trip was the "learning" factor.
If I had to describe my second trip with two words, it would be "flexibility" and "humility." Throughout the trip, starting from the beginning of training to the end of the trip, I was constantly getting humbled by God. From the beginning, I had this terrible mentality of constantly comparing this trip to last year's trip. I was so discouraged constantly when things weren't organized. Training started super late, mission's rally was postponed, we weren't as prepared for the body worships and skits.
Furthermore, the government of Paraguay issued a national warning advising people to stay home and avoid events and large groups of people because of the swine flu situation. There was a crazy statistic saying that one of every two families was sick with the flu or something. Even as we got to the airports in South America, many people were wearing masks. With this in mind, we didn't really know what to expect during VBS times. Will kids show up? So right when we got to Paraguay, we were hit with this sad news. So the first week was like dead. Only a handful of jovenes showed up to prepare for VBS decorations and stuff, we did all the things we're suppose to do at the end of the trip on the first week (go to Asuncion, buy souvenirs, go to the markets, etc), and going to the HIV/AIDS orphanage was cancelled the first day because the kids were too sick. Everything just seemed backwards and upside down.
The first week was really tiring as well because Richard and I got really sick with the flu right before we left. So as you can imagine, the plane rides were not very pleasant. It's funny because we even sat next to each other on each plane ride there. So we were coughing up a storm, we both couldn't sleep, and we just felt like crap. It was really hard for me during the first part of the trip. It was hard to be excited for the trip when ALL of these unfortunate things were going on.
If I stopped here, it would just sound like a disaster. But rather, it was the beginning of God's work in this mission's trip. In hindsight, all of these things happened for a reason and for the ultimate kingdom of God. Like I mentioned, the first week was dead. We didn't do much work, just a lot of downtime, relaxing, and visiting Asuncion. This actually worked to our advantage. Richard and I were able to get plenty of rest and recover from our sickness, we were able to sharpen our body worships and skits every night, and most importantly, we prayed.
The night times were my favorite times. Usually, we'd have dinner, wash dishes and relax, then meet at the girls' house and have our sharing time and prayer, then we'd practice our body worships and skits, then go back and wash up, and the guys would have our own little talks. That was the general routine. But that sharing time and prayer was where I got a chunk of my learning from. I'm not sure if any of my teammates know, but every night, there was at least ONE person who would say something and I'd feel SO encouraged. They are written in my journal, but I can think of two examples off the top of my head:
1. MJ shared about how she teared up after seeing the little shacks (the homes) at Ytororo. It reminded me of how I felt when I went to La Lomita for the first time.
2. CK shared about how at the end of VBS at Ytororo, she would look off in the distance along the straight road as the multitude of kids would walk back home as the sun set. It made her think "will any of these kids get out of here and and make it big?" She said something like that. And it just made me wonder about what God has in store for their futures.
Morning devotionals were also really helpful whenever I was discouraged. It helped me start the day out with the Word, and the theme of the verses stuck with me throughout the day.
Anyway, now the second week. This is when everything comes together. God faithfully answered our prayers. Our prayers was that many kids would come out to VBS. But most importantly, since we know the conditions about the flu and sickness going around, we prayed that even having one child listen to the Gospel is good enough. Even if it means that the Holy Spirit will work in one soul, that would be enough. Surprisingly, there were around 50+ kids at each of the VBS's. All of the VBS events went smoothly, no technical difficulties, our body worships and skits went well, and all the kids, the jovenes, and the team was blessed. During the second week, there was a gradual increase in the number of kids and jovenes who came out.
Looking at this trip on the surface, there were a lot of ups and downs. But looking at it knowing that God is in control, it was UP and GOOD throughout the whole thing. Regardless of circumstances and situations, God's plan is perfect and good. Because I had to learn to be flexible and humble on this trip, I constantly meditated upon this passage in my head throughout the trip: Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Amen.
Rohayhu Paraguay!
-Simon
If I had to describe my second trip with two words, it would be "flexibility" and "humility." Throughout the trip, starting from the beginning of training to the end of the trip, I was constantly getting humbled by God. From the beginning, I had this terrible mentality of constantly comparing this trip to last year's trip. I was so discouraged constantly when things weren't organized. Training started super late, mission's rally was postponed, we weren't as prepared for the body worships and skits.
Furthermore, the government of Paraguay issued a national warning advising people to stay home and avoid events and large groups of people because of the swine flu situation. There was a crazy statistic saying that one of every two families was sick with the flu or something. Even as we got to the airports in South America, many people were wearing masks. With this in mind, we didn't really know what to expect during VBS times. Will kids show up? So right when we got to Paraguay, we were hit with this sad news. So the first week was like dead. Only a handful of jovenes showed up to prepare for VBS decorations and stuff, we did all the things we're suppose to do at the end of the trip on the first week (go to Asuncion, buy souvenirs, go to the markets, etc), and going to the HIV/AIDS orphanage was cancelled the first day because the kids were too sick. Everything just seemed backwards and upside down.
The first week was really tiring as well because Richard and I got really sick with the flu right before we left. So as you can imagine, the plane rides were not very pleasant. It's funny because we even sat next to each other on each plane ride there. So we were coughing up a storm, we both couldn't sleep, and we just felt like crap. It was really hard for me during the first part of the trip. It was hard to be excited for the trip when ALL of these unfortunate things were going on.
If I stopped here, it would just sound like a disaster. But rather, it was the beginning of God's work in this mission's trip. In hindsight, all of these things happened for a reason and for the ultimate kingdom of God. Like I mentioned, the first week was dead. We didn't do much work, just a lot of downtime, relaxing, and visiting Asuncion. This actually worked to our advantage. Richard and I were able to get plenty of rest and recover from our sickness, we were able to sharpen our body worships and skits every night, and most importantly, we prayed.
The night times were my favorite times. Usually, we'd have dinner, wash dishes and relax, then meet at the girls' house and have our sharing time and prayer, then we'd practice our body worships and skits, then go back and wash up, and the guys would have our own little talks. That was the general routine. But that sharing time and prayer was where I got a chunk of my learning from. I'm not sure if any of my teammates know, but every night, there was at least ONE person who would say something and I'd feel SO encouraged. They are written in my journal, but I can think of two examples off the top of my head:
1. MJ shared about how she teared up after seeing the little shacks (the homes) at Ytororo. It reminded me of how I felt when I went to La Lomita for the first time.
2. CK shared about how at the end of VBS at Ytororo, she would look off in the distance along the straight road as the multitude of kids would walk back home as the sun set. It made her think "will any of these kids get out of here and and make it big?" She said something like that. And it just made me wonder about what God has in store for their futures.
Morning devotionals were also really helpful whenever I was discouraged. It helped me start the day out with the Word, and the theme of the verses stuck with me throughout the day.
Anyway, now the second week. This is when everything comes together. God faithfully answered our prayers. Our prayers was that many kids would come out to VBS. But most importantly, since we know the conditions about the flu and sickness going around, we prayed that even having one child listen to the Gospel is good enough. Even if it means that the Holy Spirit will work in one soul, that would be enough. Surprisingly, there were around 50+ kids at each of the VBS's. All of the VBS events went smoothly, no technical difficulties, our body worships and skits went well, and all the kids, the jovenes, and the team was blessed. During the second week, there was a gradual increase in the number of kids and jovenes who came out.
Looking at this trip on the surface, there were a lot of ups and downs. But looking at it knowing that God is in control, it was UP and GOOD throughout the whole thing. Regardless of circumstances and situations, God's plan is perfect and good. Because I had to learn to be flexible and humble on this trip, I constantly meditated upon this passage in my head throughout the trip: Proverbs 19:21 "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the LORD that will stand." Amen.
Rohayhu Paraguay!
-Simon
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Revenge
I love my mom's soondoobu. Every time she cooks it, I get so happy. But there's ALWAYS one thing missing... it's not spicy! My dad, my brother, and I love to eat spicy food. But my mom is the ONLY one in our family who can't handle spicy food at all. After countless number of times of asking her to make it spicy, she acquiesces to my request, and I regretted it. This crap was one of the spiciest things I've ever eaten in my life! Needless to say, I had very intense BTS afterwards, and I am still recovering from shock.
Mom (in Korean): "See, I told you. Now you're never gonna eat spicy food like your mom right?"
touche umma...
-Simon
Mom (in Korean): "See, I told you. Now you're never gonna eat spicy food like your mom right?"
touche umma...
-Simon
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Prayer
Praying is so hard. I feel like my prayers these days have been so selfish. It's always about "fill me with the Holy Spirit, change me, mold me, make me more like Christ, me me me me ME." Of course I'm not saying that praying for those things are bad. I just haven't been praying for the church and the congregation, family, friends, nonbelievers, etc. I have just been concentrating on me so much.
But then we recently had a Bible study on prayer. It's not about praying for certain temporary circumstances and situations (although it is not wrong to), but it's to ultimately exalt Christ. And as I read Sarah Chong's blog on prayer, it made me think about the Lord's prayer and how perfect it is. Each sentence is filled with so much meaning. It's so straight forward.
Lastly, I loved Pastor Harold's analogy with prayer. It is like breathing. You inhale, and exhale. When you inhale, you are taking in Scripture. Then the natural response is to exhale, you pray.
-Simon
But then we recently had a Bible study on prayer. It's not about praying for certain temporary circumstances and situations (although it is not wrong to), but it's to ultimately exalt Christ. And as I read Sarah Chong's blog on prayer, it made me think about the Lord's prayer and how perfect it is. Each sentence is filled with so much meaning. It's so straight forward.
Lastly, I loved Pastor Harold's analogy with prayer. It is like breathing. You inhale, and exhale. When you inhale, you are taking in Scripture. Then the natural response is to exhale, you pray.
-Simon
Saturday, May 30, 2009
All For the Glory of God
Today was a difficult day. Spent all day at church preparing for the Mission's Rally Night due to poor planning from all of us. We really learned it the hard way. As a result, Missions Rally was canceled and it got moved to a few weeks later. To add salt to the wound, I heard a lot of remarks from different people about how the missions teams did such a poor job planning everything as if we didn't already know that.
Nevertheless, MJ put it best: "our plans must adhere to God's plan." I am glad that our event is postponed. It's a good reminder that we can't do all of this from our own strengths. I feel like this event really lacked prayer. If anything, we'll learn from this when we plan future events.
-Simon
Nevertheless, MJ put it best: "our plans must adhere to God's plan." I am glad that our event is postponed. It's a good reminder that we can't do all of this from our own strengths. I feel like this event really lacked prayer. If anything, we'll learn from this when we plan future events.
-Simon
Thursday, May 28, 2009
A New Beginning...
Wow! It has been a really long time since I wrote in a blog. I think my xanga is pretty much nonexistent. But the more I thought about it, it's important to capture these college years.
Because I'm a little late on the whole college years, I guess I will sum up my sophomore year. My first reaction to sophomore year was that it really sucked. I hated it. I feel like I had the biggest depression stage of my life from summer up until end of fall semester, struggling with both difficult semesters academically, stressing over transferring, worrying about family issues, etc. The list just goes on. However, the more I reflect on my sophomore year, it wasn't so bad. In hindsight, I feel like I grew the most spiritually. Like it says in 2 Cor. 12:8-10
8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It was a difficult year, but I grew a lot by it. The weaker I am, better is Christ's power to my soul, thus the stronger I am. Plus, I achieved decent grades both of my semesters after studying so hard for my classes. I got into UCLA! :) My dad's business is in the works. My brother's doing well in Korea. I've acquired many new friendships, and still strengthening existing ones. I'm going to Paraguay again this summer. This year's Sister's Appreciation and Senior Banquet were the best ones I've attended.
So why am I complaining? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This was a good year because God made it. We don't judge a movie by the conflicts, problems, and issues that come up in the plot. We judge it from its overall result and say it was a good or bad movie. Life is like a movie, but our life is created by the best and perfect director.
-Simon
Because I'm a little late on the whole college years, I guess I will sum up my sophomore year. My first reaction to sophomore year was that it really sucked. I hated it. I feel like I had the biggest depression stage of my life from summer up until end of fall semester, struggling with both difficult semesters academically, stressing over transferring, worrying about family issues, etc. The list just goes on. However, the more I reflect on my sophomore year, it wasn't so bad. In hindsight, I feel like I grew the most spiritually. Like it says in 2 Cor. 12:8-10
8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
It was a difficult year, but I grew a lot by it. The weaker I am, better is Christ's power to my soul, thus the stronger I am. Plus, I achieved decent grades both of my semesters after studying so hard for my classes. I got into UCLA! :) My dad's business is in the works. My brother's doing well in Korea. I've acquired many new friendships, and still strengthening existing ones. I'm going to Paraguay again this summer. This year's Sister's Appreciation and Senior Banquet were the best ones I've attended.
So why am I complaining? I've said it before, and I'll say it again: This was a good year because God made it. We don't judge a movie by the conflicts, problems, and issues that come up in the plot. We judge it from its overall result and say it was a good or bad movie. Life is like a movie, but our life is created by the best and perfect director.
-Simon
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